


Shipwrecked

by KyloTrashForever



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Anal Fingering, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Porn, BENLO, Bermuda Triangle Prequel, Brother/Brother Incest, Brotherly Love, Bullying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Hand Jobs, M/M, Male Slash, Minor Violence, Night Terrors, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Quiet Ben, Sharing a Bed, Smut, Social Anxiety, Triplet Ben Solo, Triplet Kylo Ren, protective kylo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-10-15 20:20:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17535572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyloTrashForever/pseuds/KyloTrashForever
Summary: Ben is drowning, and Kylo wants nothing more than to save him....but what if salvation means losing yourself?Benlo prequel toBermuda Triangle.





	1. Just Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> I didn’t mean for this to be so angsty, but here it is.

* * *

He’s like a ghost these days.

Kylo isn’t sure at what point Ben completely retreated into himself, but the person that sits beside him isn’t the same one he grew up with.

Being triplets seems like something that would automatically be synonymous with some inseparable closeness— an unspoken bond that magically drew them together in camaraderie and friendship.

Not always the case.

When they had been younger, sure. They had shared everything in those days. Kylo _missed_ those days.

Matt had broken away at the start of junior high, always involved in some sort of club or project that swept him away with a new circle of friends that Kylo or Ben didn’t have a place in. Kylo wasn’t entirely thrilled about taking a backseat to randoms when he and Matt shared a fucking genetic code— but his sense of loss had been nothing like Ben’s.

Ben has always been the… softer of the three of them.

When he was small, he would cling to the back of Kylo’s shirt when strangers were near, burying his face in the fabric. He had a hard time articulating his thoughts and feelings, and so Kylo had made it his mission to learn to anticipate what they might be. To read them and express them for him.

In that sense their relationship had become symbiotic—Kylo was Ben’s source of strength, his protector, even his words at times, and Ben… well, Ben gives Kylo a reason not to hate _everything._

Kylo can pinpoint the exact moment he went from the carefree, happy child he’d been to the sullen, asshole young adult he’s morphed into. Kylo remembers that day like it had only just happened. Coming home eight years ago and having to watch his mother break down at their kitchen table. Hearing that they would never see his father again. Knowing that the last conversation they’d shared had been meaningless. Kylo thinks it had been something to do with his chores.

He should have told his father that he loved him. Kylo should have told him how important he’d been. Instead, Han Solo left this world with no notice and no goodbye, and Kylo has just been… angry ever since. Everything changed after that. It wasn’t long after that when Matt pulled away from his brothers. Ben immediately fell into a more reclusive version of his already quiet self.

Three brothers who entered the world together and then fell apart.

Like some sort of fucked up fairy tale.

Kylo is driving them home from school, Ben sitting quietly in the passenger's seat, staring out the window in his usual way. Lately he’s fallen into these bouts of silence— going weeks without uttering a word, and Kylo is constantly worried about him. His social anxiety has only worsened in high school, the other guys finding Ben an easy target and doing nothing to ease his hardship.

They aren’t stupid enough to fuck with Ben when Kylo is around, but Kylo knows some of the more fucked up ones still give Ben a hard time when they catch him alone. Kylo has been in the superintendent’s office more times than he can count for bloodying a nose or kneeing a dick over an asshole comment towards his brother.

Kylo glances across the front seat of his car, giving Ben a worried expression. “Did you get any good shots today?”

Ben only shrugs, still staring out the window. Kylo has been attempting to draw him out of this latest silent streak for days, constantly trying to get him to open his mouth and speak. Kylo knows Ben’s anxiety is getting the best of him— he’s _seen_ the way the panic attacks and the night terrors have worsened in the last year, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. He feels helpless.

“Ben,” Kylo sighs. “There’s no reason you can’t talk to _me_. We’re alone now. It’s me. Talk to me.”

Ben turns to look at him, his eyes vacant. Empty, almost. It makes Kylo’s chest hurt. Ben looks away just as quickly, resuming his stare out the window, and silence settles back over the car. Kylo can’t take it, this agonizing quiet, and he reaches to flick the radio on. He begins to shift through the stations and is surprised when Ben’s hand shoots out to settle over Kylo’s as he passes one song that catches Ben’s interest. He gives Kylo a pleading look, and Kylo begrudgingly lets _Mr. Blue Sky_ continue to play.

Their dad loved this song. It used to play in the garage while he worked on his old motorcycle— always saying he’d get that piece of shit fixed up one day. It still sits in a corner now, gathering dust. Kylo tightens his grip on the steering wheel, trying to stomp down that familiar feeling of disquiet whenever anything that reminds him of his father intrudes on his life.

Ben likes to remember everything.

Kylo does not.

When they pull into their driveway only moments later, Ben sits still in his seat, staring at the dash and allowing the song to finish playing. When it ends, Ben quietly gathers his backpack and camera case from floorboard, opening the door to Kylo’s car and shuffling inside the house. Kylo lets his forehead rest against the steering wheel, heaving out a sigh.

When did everything turn to shit? It’s his senior year. He’s only _eighteen_. He should be having the time of his life. Instead, he spends his days trying to piece together his broken brother. The more Kylo tries, the further Ben seems to retreat into himself. He doesn’t know what he needs, but he wants to give it to him.

He finally exits the car, grabbing his bag from the backseat and following Ben inside. The house is quiet at the moment— Matt has quiz bowl practice or some shit until five, and their mother works late at the hospital. He hears Ben moving up the stairs, and it is only moments later that Kylo hears Ben’s bedroom door slam behind him. He scrubs a hand down his face, stowing his bag on the floor and moving to the kitchen.

Later he will have to go up there and drag Ben down for dinner so that the four of them can pretend that everything is okay and that they aren’t all broken messes— but for now he just wants to grab a fucking snack and watch trash tv and pretend his life isn’t a goddamn mess.

* * *

“Honey, are you feeling okay?” their mother directs at Ben from across the table.

Ben nods quietly, taking another bite. Their mother frowns slightly, but then Matt is piping up about some trip he wants to go on with his student council friends, and Kylo promptly tunes him out. He spares a glance at Ben who is still staring into his plate, and he wants to scream at Matt and his mother for not noticing. Can’t they see how fucking despondent he is? Why is Kylo the only one?

The rest of their dinner passes in relative normality, the conversation mostly ruled by Matt and their mother with the occasional comment from Kylo. No one notices that Ben never speaks a word. They assume he’s just quiet. It pisses Kylo off.

Ben leaves the kitchen the second he’s finished his food, heading in the direction of his room, and Kylo promptly follows him to the base of the stairs, snatching his wrists to cease his movements.

“You can’t just hide in your room all the time, Ben.” Ben only stares at him, and Kylo feels like there are needles in his chest. “Tell me what I can do to _help_ you,” Kylo pleads.

Nothing. Still nothing. Only vacant eyes that seem already dead and a passive expression that hides all the pain that Kylo knows dwells inside him. Kylo lets him go, and he disappears up the stairs. Kylo remains at the bottom step for a long time, sinking to sit as he lets his face fall to his hands.

He hears Matt’s lumbering footsteps approaching, the oldest of the triplets coming to a halt beside him, and Kylo looks up to see him regarding him curiously from beneath his tousled mop of blonde hair.

“What’s wrong with you?”

Kylo almost wants to hit him, but refrains. He supposes it isn’t _Matt’s_ fault that Ben is the way he is. He can only fault him for not seeing it. “Nothing.”

Matt frowns. “Are you sure? You’ve been kind of pissed off lately.”

 _Maybe that’s because I’m terrified I’ll come home to find our brother lifeless on the floor one day._ He doesn’t say this. Ben would hate him for drawing so much attention to him.

“Just a lot going on at school I guess.”

Matt nods. “I’ve been so busy lately. I’m really sorry. Do you want to go down to the pier this weekend? We could take Ben… fish for awhile maybe? Could be fun.”

Kylo nods, knowing there’s no way Ben will want to but allowing himself to believe for a moment that everything is normal enough for him to make flippant plans with his big brother. “That sounds cool.”

Matt beams, and Kylo wants to hate him for his carefree attitude. He doesn’t though. He’s happy at least one of them got through the bullshit with no baggage. Matt bounds up the stairs, leaving Kylo sitting at the bottom, right back where he started.

He spares a glance up the dark stairs, knowing he’ll have to lay on the other side of Ben’s wall tonight, listening to the sounds of his muted whimpers and sharp gasps of air as the night terrors grip him in sleep. He would take them, if he could. He’d take it all.

If only he could.

* * *

Kylo’s eyes fly open just after midnight, a sharp cry drifting through the wall and waking him from a restless sleep. Kylo’s room rests just on the other side of Ben’s at the back side of the house and far enough from Matt’s that only Kylo is subjected to the haunted sounds of his tortured brother.

He lies there in the dark, listening to his brother suffering from whatever plagues him in sleep, praying that it will pass quickly.

It never does.

The noises are only getting worse; they used to come only once or twice a week, now it seems to be a nightly thing. Kylo doesn’t know if it is the pressure of their last year at school, or the anxiety of starting a new life when they graduate, or if perhaps he’s just reached his breaking point— but Ben is worse now than he’s ever been.

Kylo does the same thing he always does.

He throws the covers away, swinging his long legs over the side of the bed and not bothering to grab a shirt as he quickly leaves his room. The hall is cold, Kylo dressed only in his boxers, and he pads next door as quietly as possible to slip inside Ben’s.

His brother is thrashing underneath his sheets, the dark cotton of the t-shirt he sleeps in clinging to his skin as well as the sweat-drenched strands of his hair that stick to his temples. For a moment Kylo can only watch helplessly, but when Ben lets out a tortured cry, Kylo finds himself crossing the room in a hurry.

He gently shakes at Ben’s shoulder, trying to rouse him from his restless sleep. Ben’s eyes fly open suddenly, his expression terrified, and he lashes out, nearly striking Kylo in surprise. Awakening has only made things worse, his chest beginning to rise and fall rapidly and his eyes widening in panic. His breath leaves him in sharp gasps, as if he cannot get enough air.

He’s having a panic attack. This happens fairly often when he comes out of a night terror, and Kylo knows the best way to soothe him. He quickly sets about doing the same things he’s done for months now, moving around the bed to crawl in behind him, pulling Ben close to mold his back to Kylo’s front. He can feel Ben shaking violently, and he lets a hand rest over Ben’s chest.

“It’s okay, Ben,” Kylo soothes quietly. Taking deep breaths, he presses Ben into his moving chest to try and sync their breathing. He lets his forehead rest against Ben’s hair, speaking quiet instructions into the back of Ben’s neck. “Focus on me. Focus on the way my chest is moving. Just breathe, Ben. Just _breathe.”_

Ben’s hand flies upwards to clutch at Kylo’s, his grip so tight it is almost painful, but Kylo doesn’t stop him, only holds him tighter. “ _Breathe,_ Ben.”

Kylo has no idea how long it takes Ben’s breathing to normalize, but he _feels_ when Ben begins to calm, his chest moving just a little slower as it syncs with Kylo’s own breathing. Kylo continues to hold him close, still terrified by the violent effect the attack seemed to have on his brother’s body, and he finds himself unable to let go just yet.

Ben’s breathing finally slows to a point that Kylo knows Ben has drifted back to sleep, and Kylo decides to stay with him in hopes he sleeps better this time. He lets his hold on his brother fall a little more slack, but his arm remains draped around Ben’s shoulders to settle against his warmth. Kylo lets his eyes close, thankful that at least for now, everything is alright.

He doesn’t know how many nights he’s laid like this, draped around his brother, but he knows he will do it every night for the rest of his life it means Ben will be okay.

* * *

It is Kylo who wakes first the next morning, the sun just beginning to peek through the blinds as his eyes lazily drift open. Ben has turned in his sleep, burrowing into Kylo’s front, his head tucked beneath Kylo’s chin as he curls up against him. He does this fairly often after an episode, seeking physical comfort, and Kylo is more than fine with it.

Kylo remains still, not wanting to wake him just yet. Ben needs the sleep. He burrows his nose into Ben’s hair, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of his shampoo. This entire situation sort of reminds Kylo of when they were kids. Ben always crawled into Kylo’s bed after a nightmare, insisting Kylo baby him until he fell back asleep.

He guesses in a way Ben has always been his.

Kylo shifts slightly to get comfortable– stilling just as quickly as he feels something poking against his hip. He tries not to move further, not wanting to wake Ben and embarrass him. It’s only natural, after all. He stealthily tries to back away, but Ben burrows further into him, tilting his hips in a way that allows Ben’s erect cock to nudge against Kylo’s.

Kylo’s mouth parts in surprise, the hardened length of his brother sliding over Kylo’s semi-erect morning wood. His surprise is in that he feels no disgust, only a mild curiosity. He doesn’t know what Ben dreams, but his brother’s hips are continuing to rut against him slowly, and Kylo doesn’t know what to make of the fact that he is _allowing_ it to happen.

Kylo’s cock is achingly hard now, and he longs to reach down and touch himself to relieve the pressure. He doesn’t dare move, unsure what would happen if Ben woke up. Would this make him worse? He stays still.

Kylo has to bite his lip when the head of Ben’s dick presses just up against his own, bumping against the slit and causing Kylo to suck in a breath.

What is _happening?_ Better yet, why isn’t he _stopping_ it _?_

He can’t help it, he is so impossibly worked up, he finds himself thrusting his hips forward lightly to slide against Ben’s cock, the sensation causing him to suck in a shaky breath. Kylo’s gasp is what wakes Ben, his entire body stilling as he slowly pulls away. He looks up at Kylo with a horrified expression, moving to scramble backward, but Kylo wraps an arm around him to trap him against him.

Ben’s eyes are wide with shock, and Kylo isn’t even sure what his plan is; he only knows that this is the most expression he’s seen on Ben’s face in weeks, and that he is impossibly turned on.

“Don’t run,” Kylo rasps.

Ben glances between them, looking lost, and Kylo tentatively reaches between them to let a palm cover Ben’s cock through his boxers. Ben hisses out a breath, watching what Kylo is doing with a confused expression but not stopping him.

Kylo lets a thumb trace over the slit of the head, feeling the damp patch that has gathered there his releasing a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“You don’t have to hide from me,” Kylo grates, hooking a finger into the band of Ben’s underwear and pulling them away from his body. He tugs them over the jutting length of Ben’s erect cock, fascinated by how similar it looks to his own. “You don’t have to hide _anything_ from me.”

There is a sharp intake of breath when Kylo’s hand wraps around his brother’s length, and when Kylo starts to pump him slowly, Ben whimpers, letting his forehead fall against Kylo’s shoulder. Kylo lets the leaking beads of pre-cum smear against his palm, using it to slide down Ben’s length to aid his efforts.

He can’t explain the blooming heat in his chest when he feels Ben thrust into his fist instinctively, but his soft cries are already more emotion than anything he’s shown in a long time and Kylo wants more.

“Touch me too,” he urges.

Ben’s hands are slow and shaky as they reach to free Kylo’s straining cock, and when his fingers wrap around it, Kylo almost comes into the hand that feels so much like his own, but so different.

He has no idea what they’re doing, but he can’t stop now.

They work each other quietly, no sound in Ben’s room except the occasional sharp intake of air or quiet groan escaping them. Ben makes that same soft sound when he nears the edge, and it travels straight to Kylo’s cock, making him swell in Ben’s hand.

They come together in a messy exchange of fluids, coating their hands and each other and the bed all at once. They lay together for several moments, both breathless and confused as to what’s just happened.

Finally Kylo uses his clean hand to let a finger press against Ben’s chin, tilting it upward to look at him. Ben’s eyes are confused and slightly frightened but they are _alive_ — nothing like the vacant emptiness they’ve been. Kylo lets his lips press to Ben’s forehead, closing his eyes to let them linger and when he pulls away, he hears his name softly on Ben’s lips.

It’s the first word he’s said in weeks.

Kylo smiles. “It’s me, Ben. It’s just me.”

He doesn’t know what this means, and he definitely knows it shouldn’t have happened, but he doesn’t care. He watched his brother come back to life just now, even if only for a moment.

Maybe he’s found what Ben needs.


	2. Unafraid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I upped the chapter count don’t ask me why I just... love this? 😂

It’s raining.

Rain is supposed to be synonymous with sadness, but Ben has always liked the rain. When it rains, people expect you to be quiet, to be down. No one asks you what’s wrong because they assume it’s just the rain.

It’s cold too. It’s always cold when it rains. When Ben stands under the downpour, he can convince himself that is it the rain that makes him cold. That it is not just him.

 _It’s really coming down out there,_ he thinks idly. The torrent washes steadily outside the classroom window, and Ben just watches it fall. If he focuses, letting the steady pour fill his mind, he can almost forget what happened, almost forget what he and Kylo—

“...Ben?”

He turns slowly, his teacher looking at him expectantly as if she’s just asked him a question. He has no idea what she asked, so he only stares back at her blankly. She lets out a sigh. She’s used to Ben not participating, but is forever trying to rouse him from this despondency that he wears like a blanket. It’s all he knows. He doesn’t… feel much. Not anymore.

She shakes her head as she asks someone else instead, and he knows she will want to speak with him after class. They all want to speak with him. They all think they can fix him.

Only... Ben is not a toy who is missing a piece. A fresh set of batteries will not repair him. Ben is a teapot that was dropped upon opening. He is shattered. He is fractured. Nothing can put him back together.

When the bell rings, he ducks out of the classroom as quickly as he is able, before the teacher can notice he’s gone. He can almost breathe again when he’s in the hallway— that is until the flood of other students pour into the space.

People make him dizzy. Make him afraid. His chest is tight, and he tucks his head downwards as he presses through the bodies in search of the door. He just wants to go home. It is the only place he feels any semblance of peace. Even if only for a moment.

“Hey, watch where you’re fucking going.”

He hadn’t meant to bump into the guy, he was just trying to avoid touching someone else. He wants to tell him he’s sorry, but words are hard. It makes his heart race.

“What, you can’t talk?”

The boy is sneering at him, his friends crowding around to see, and one of them seems to recognize him.

“That’s one of the Solo brothers,” he explains. “The dumb one.”

_The dumb one._

If Ben could feel something, that might actually hurt. Instead he just moves to leave, attempting to push past them, but they block his path.

“Listen, I don’t care if you’re stupid, you need to watch where you’re fucking going.”

Ben looks at him blankly, noticing how the boy is slightly shorter than he is— so why is Ben so afraid? He gives a minuscule shake of his head, hoping to convey that he _is_ sorry, he just doesn’t know how else to express it.

The boy shoves his shoulder, jarring him, and again Ben moves to leave. He is only met with another shove, this one more forceful. He sees the boy moving for a third assault when he is jolted to the side, his brother barreling into him with a snarl.

Kylo pushes the bully into the wall, his forearm under his throat. “Touch him again and I’ll break your fucking arm. Understand?”

The boy is grimacing, struggling to catch his breath for the force of Kylo’s arm at his neck and he glances at Ben helplessly.

“Don’t you look at him,” Kylo growls. “You look at me. _Do you understand?”_

The boy nods begrudgingly, and Kylo releases him as he and his friends scramble away. Kylo wraps a hand around Ben’s arm, leaning in with a concerned look.

“Are you okay?”

Ben’s eyes go wide at the sight of Kylo’s fingers around his arm, suddenly remembering when they’d been wrapped around _other_ parts of him, and his heart begins to race. Not the panicked, painful racing that he is used to— no, something warm and new. Ben doesn’t know what to make of it, so he pulls away from Kylo’s grasp.

He nods back at him, unable to meet his eyes. Kylo lingers for a moment, almost as if he wants to say more, but instead turns and gestures towards the parking lot. “Come on,” he urges. “Let’s go home.”

Ben follows, suddenly more anxious about going home than he had been before.

* * *

 His room is stifling, his mind is racing. Sitting in his bed has become a chore, every second there a reminder of what happened.

It’s been an entire week. Seven days passing in which neither of them had brought it up again. Kylo had held him after, in a similar way that he always had. Only it had been different. _So different._

It shouldn’t have felt good. It shouldn’t have plagued him like it did now.

Ben has wondered more than once in this last week if perhaps he is gay. He has never felt _anything_ like he felt that morning with Kylo before— not for anyone. It has never interested him. Sure, he’s _taken care_ of himself on several occasions, he’s still a teenaged boy, but _no one_ has instilled a fire in him like he felt in his own bed… with his _brother_ no less.

Forget gay, perhaps he is  _sick._

And _Kylo—_ why hadn’t he said anything? He’d left that morning after helping Ben clean up, returning to his own room as if nothing had happened. It wasn’t like Kylo. Kylo was always pestering him to _talk—_ trying to coax him out of his own head. Normally it exhausts him. Now he misses it.

Unless… did he regret it? Had Ben somehow ruined things between them? Kylo was all he had. The only one who _saw_ him. Had he taken that for granted? It made his insides twist.

There was no one else home now, Kylo shut up in his room doing… whatever he does when he’s alone. How long has it been since Ben has sought _him_ out? Since Ben has done _anything_ proactive? He can’t remember. He’s never cared enough to try.

He cares _now_.

It _plagues_ him.

He is on his feet before he even realizes it, moving to his door and opening it quietly. Kylo’s room is just beside his, and he stares at the door for several moments, overthinking the simple action of just reaching for the doorknob. It shouldn’t be this hard. It shouldn’t be so difficult.

The fucking doorknob represents everything that is wrong with him.

It is a simple thing. Just a mechanism that opens a path to something new— but it takes effort. It takes _action._ Things Ben doesn’t know. Things Ben can’t _do._ It should be so _goddamn_ easy to just… _reach out._ To make a fucking _effort._

Ben grits his teeth.

He opens the door.

Kylo is lying over his bed, typing away on his laptop, and he looks up at Ben with slight confusion.

“Ben?”

Ben doesn’t know what to do now. Why had he even come in here? What had he even wanted?

“What is it?” Kylo presses.

He’s waiting for words. He’s waiting for Ben to _do_ something. Ben’s jaw works, the syllables on his tongue as if trapped, and he clenches his lips in discomfort. Kylo’s eyebrow raises expectantly, and Ben takes a deep breath.

“Am I gay?”

Kylo’s eyes widen— this _clearly_ not what he had expected. “Do you _think_ you’re gay?”

“I— I don’t know.”

“Why do you think you’re gay?”

Ben blushes. “Because— because of what we—” He swallows nervously. “What does it _mean?”_

Kylo shrugs. “It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to.”

 _But it did,_ Ben thinks but doesn’t say. _It did mean something._ Perhaps it is only Ben who feels plagued by this. Perhaps to Kylo it was just a random mistake.

“Oh,” Ben murmurs. “Sorry.”

This was stupid. So stupid. Why had he come? He turns to leave, wanting to forget this entire day. He hears Kylo moving from his bed, stomping across the floor and his hand wraps around Ben’s forearm again. _Again_ Ben feels that racing in his heart that makes his blood heat. What _is_ that?

“Keep talking,” Kylo pleads. “Don’t leave.”

Ben hangs his head. “I don’t know what I’m even doing here.”

Kylo swallows, treating him like wounded animal as his touch is featherlight against Ben’s arm. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“So much,” Ben whispers. “It makes my head hurt.”

“Make it quiet. Focus on one thing at a time. What’s bothering you the loudest?”

“Is there something wrong with me?”

“Because of what happened?”

Ben nods.

“No,” Kylo urges quietly. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Then why did it— why did it _feel_ good?”

“I don’t know,” Kylo admits. “I... it felt good for me too.”

Ben looks up at him in shock. “It did?”

Kylo nods. “It did.”

“What does that _mean?”_

“It means whatever we want it to. What do you want it to mean?”

“I don’t _know,”_ Ben groans. “It’s all so… confusing.”

Kylo’s jaw moves, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows, and Ben is distracted by the bit of tongue that pokes out to wet his lips. “Maybe you _are_ gay.”

Ben frowns. “Do you think so?”

“Maybe I am too,” Kylo muses. “There’s really only one way to find out.”

“What?”

Kylo reaches behind him to lock the door. “Come over here.”

Ben allows himself to be pulled across the room, settling on Kylo’s bed as Kylo pulls his laptop over his legs. He begins to type in the search bar, and all at once Ben is assaulted with images of males engaged in… _several_ things. Ben grimaces, looking at Kylo who is studying him curiously.

“Does any of this do it for you?”

Ben reaches to click one of the videos, maximizing it as deep moans fill the room. Ben tries to take it seriously, but most it just makes him feel uncomfortable.

“Not really.”

“Me either actually,” Kylo admits. “But you… you felt something… with me.”

Ben nods in embarrassment, feeling a blush creeping up his neck.

“Okay,” Kylo affirms. “Maybe you’re just not turned on by porn. Maybe you’re more of a _real life_ kind of guy.”

“What?”

“You know…” Kylo trails off. “ _Hands on.”_

Ben’s eyes go wide, and he immediately shakes his head. “We—we _can’t.”_

Kylo’s brow knits, a deep frown marring his features. “This is the most you’ve talked in _weeks._ We can do whatever the fuck we want to.”

“Kylo, I—”

Kylo shushes him by pushing at his shoulders, urging him to his back, and he is working at the button of Ben’s jeans before Ben can protest. Ben’s heart is racing again, a steady beat under his ribs that for once in his life doesn’t hurt. It feels… _exciting._ Which by all accounts makes no sense given that it is inherently _wrong._

Kylo swallows hard as he undoes Ben’s zipper, looking up at him briefly. “I’ve thought about this a lot.”

“You have?”

Kylo nods. “I was afraid… afraid to bring it up. Afraid that I had done something that would make you worse. But then you came to _me._ You’re _talking._ How could this be a bad thing?”

It didn’t sound so awful when Kylo put it that way, even if Ben knew that wasn’t true. It didn’t stop the way Ben hardened under his jeans, or the way his thighs tensed when Kylo’s hands slid over them. It _certainly_ didn’t stop the way his breath caught when Kylo pulled him free of his briefs.

“I thought it would be weird,” Kylo murmurs. “Seeing it again like this.” Kylo runs his hand over Ben’s stiffening length, assessing. “But it's just like mine, isn’t it? We’re the same. It’s no different than touching myself really.”

“It’s not the same,” Ben argues breathily as Kylo’s hand wraps around him.

“Isn’t it?” Kylo presses. “I bet I know just the way you like it. I bet it’s _exactly_ the same.”

As if to prove his point he moves to squeeze just beneath the thick head, applying pressure on the way back down, and Ben groans low in his throat. He covers his eyes, unable to watch what Kylo is doing to him for fear that he’ll have to acknowledge how much he likes it. He shouldn’t. He _knows_ he shouldn’t.

But he does.

He isn’t scared, or anxious, or worried— no, for once, for _once,_ he only _feels. Feels_ the way his skin heats and his breath catches and his heart races. It is… _freeing._

“You know what I _can’t_ do to myself though?”

Ben doesn’t have time to answer. He barely has time to even move his hands to look at Kylo before he hears the bed groaning with Kylo’s weight as he shifts across the mattress. He feels the warmth of Kylo’s breath only _seconds_ before it is followed by the swipe of Kylo’s tongue up the underside of him, barely even a warning for the sharp jolt that courses through him from the sensation.

“ _Kylo.”_

He means it as a protest. In his head that is exactly how it sounds, but when his brother’s name leaves his lips, in actuality it sounds like a _plea._

 _“_ It doesn’t taste like I thought it would,” Kylo remarks. Then he is diving back in, his lips covering the head of Ben’s cock and Ben sucks in a sharp breath, almost coming right then and there. It’s _entirely_ too much.

He whimpers when Kylo pulls away suddenly, leaving him completely only to pulls at Ben’s jeans to work them away. He pushes them down Ben’s thighs, stripping him of his clothes completely from the waist down.

Ben feels exposed like this, and he reaches for the blanket over Kylo’s bed, only for Kylo to slap his hand. “Stop that. Don’t be embarrassed. It’s just me.”

Ben nods sheepishly, knowing Kylo has seen every part of him growing up and he tries to tell himself that this is not so different. Even if he knows that isn’t true.

“I’ve been reading,” Kylo admits. “About this. About how it works.”

Ben shoots him a wide-eyed stare. “How it works?”

“How I could make you feel good. If this happened again.”

“You did that?”

Kylo nods.

“ _Why?”_

“Because if this is the thing that makes you okay again, then this is the thing that we’re going to do.”

Ben groans, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. “What’s _wrong_ with me?”

Kylo pulls his hands away, and Ben is surprised when he leans in to press his lips to Ben’s. It is… intimate. In a way that is far more nerve-wracking than anything that they’ve done. It is also… comforting. Ben can’t help but melt into it. It is almost chaste, just a resting of Kylo’s mouth against his own, but when Kylo pulls away, Ben is breathing much harder than before.

“There’s _nothing_ wrong with you,” Kylo urges. “Anyone who says any different will have to deal with me.”

Ben can only nod dazedly, and Kylo sets about continuing whatever task he’d set himself on. Ben notices then that he is _straining,_ his cock pressed against his sweats insistently and Ben finds himself fascinated by it. When Kylo catches Ben staring, he only shrugs. “It’s only natural.”

“Isn’t it… uncomfortable?”

“I mean, yes,” Kylo admits. “But I’m taking care of you. Unless… unless you want to…”

Ben finds himself nodding. He doesn’t know why he feels so eager— perhaps it is tit for tat, perhaps it is gratitude, perhaps it is just _Kylo._ Whatever the reason, he finds he _wants to_ very much.

Kylo swallows, his eyes darkening. “I have an idea.”

He stands from the bed, pulling down his sweats and underwear and tossing them aside to let his cock hang thickly out in front of him. He strokes it idly, running his fist from base to tip as he stares down at Ben.

“On your side,” Kylo urges.

Ben finds himself obeying immediately, Kylo’s forceful tone a welcome comfort as it takes away all thoughts of his own, leaving only the desire to comply. He lays on his side, and Kylo dips a knee to the bed, lying in the opposite direction so that Ben’s cock rests just in front of Kylo’s face in a similar manner that Kylo’s does to Ben’s.

He wastes no time, leaning in to take Ben’s cock in his mouth, and Ben groans deeply as the warm wet of it rids him of reason. He tentatively reaches out to touch Kylo, skirting his fingers along the underside of his shaft, and Kylo shudders in response.

Ben likes the way he reacts. Likes that _he_ made him react that way. It makes him feel powerful— in a way that he never has before. He leans in, poking out his tongue to let it slide over the head and Kylo thrusts against his mouth instinctively. Ben stills when Kylo pushes down his length to the base, having to will himself not to come yet. Even if it feels _amazing._

He leans in again, this time pulling the head between his lips as Kylo has done to him, and he feels Kylo moan around his cock, causing Ben to shiver. He doesn’t focus on how wrong it is. Or how much he knows they shouldn’t be doing it. Or how his mother and brother would react if they found out. He only focuses on the warmth of Kylo’s mouth, of his cock, of his large hand as it grips Ben’s hip.

There is nothing beyond that.

He feels Kylo pull off for only a second, not able to see what he is doing, but he returns just as quickly, taking Ben in his mouth again.

When Kylo’s hand skirts over his hip again, he feels Kylo’s fingers are now wet. He reaches around behind, sliding over Ben’s ass slowly and Ben tenses with panic momentarily. Kylo spreads his palm over Ben’s skin, circling in a soothing motion and taking him deeper into his mouth and then Ben forgets his panic as he bobs back down Kylo’s length.

He grunts low in his chest when he feels Kylo’s finger pressing at the furled opening just inside, tensing slightly as Kylo teases Ben’s entrance. At first it feels only odd, like something that shouldn’t be happening— but when Kylo eases the wet digit inside, Ben can’t help but squirm, the odd sensation giving way to strange pleasure.

Kylo pushes inside deep, only to withdraw as he sets a slow rhythm in and out of Ben. Ben feels himself swelling, his cock somehow harder than before and he begins to thrust lightly into Kylo’s mouth on instinct. In turn he can feel how close Kylo is, impossibly hard against Ben’s tongue, and Ben finds himself wanting to make him lose control. To say that _he’d_ done that. That he'd done _something._

When Kylo grinds his finger deep, curling it and touching some part of Ben he hadn’t even known existed, Ben falls apart. He comes in Kylo’s mouth without warning, shaking all over as he empties into Kylo’s throat. Kylo doesn’t seem to mind, gripping the base of him and taking it all as Ben moans around Kylo’s cock still thrusting in his mouth.

Ben’s voice seems to send Kylo over the edge, and Ben is met with the hot taste of Kylo’s spend coating his tongue, something of salt and heat and Ben gags accidentally, pulling away. The result is Kylo’s cum painting his lip and face and even some in his hair, Ben shutting his eyes tight to avoid getting it there too. Of _course_ Kylo would be so much better at this than him.

Kylo releases Ben with an obscene sound, withdrawing his hand as well before he sits up, wiping the back of his mouth. Ben rolls to his back, breathing heavily, his eyes still closed, and he feels Kylo leaning over him to push the hair from Ben’s face.

“Look at you,” Kylo hums. “You’re a wreck.”

“I’m sorry, I—”

Kylo shakes his head, shushing him. “Don’t be sorry. You did good. How do you feel?”

Ben bites his lip, afraid to voice his true feelings for fear they will make him seem like some sort of wicked thing. Kylo leans in, his lips falling to Ben’s softly before pulling away just slightly. “Tell me. Tell me how you feel.”

“I feel… good.”

“Good.”

They hear commotion downstairs, a slamming of the front door, and Ben starts to panic. Kylo places a hand over his cheek, quieting him with another kiss and Ben sighs in content despite the anxiety that threatens to burst from his chest.

“Use my shower,” Kylo murmurs. “Clean yourself up. I’ll take care of them.”

Ben nods as Kylo moves from the bed, grabbing for his sweats and pulling them on, not even bothering with his underwear. He moves towards the door, pausing just before unlocking it and turning to Ben.

“Ben?”

Ben perks up, looking at him expectantly. “Yeah?”

Kylo grins, a wicked gleam in his eye that both worries and excites. “We _will_ be doing this again.”

With that he is gone, leaving Ben alone and ruined and for the first time in a long time… unafraid.


	3. I’ve Got You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming at you with more gross incest because I am gross. 😂❤️

“They’re going to find us.”

Ben’s words morph into a moan, the water from the shower pouring over his shoulders as Kylo’s teeth graze against the hard muscle there.

“No they won’t,” Kylo assures him. “I locked my bedroom door.”

Kylo’s arms are wrapped around Ben’s waist, his hands wrapped firmly around Ben’s cock as Ben thrusts into Kylo’s fist. It’s been a week since that day in Kylo’s room, and they’ve sort of just… fallen into this routine. Stealing moments like this.

With every instance Ben comes _alive._ Flushed, vocal, _needy_ even— it’s more response than Kylo has seen in him in years. It is _addictive._ Kylo can’t get enough of the way he sounds when he comes apart.

He knows what this is. He knows how the world would see it. He just can’t seem to find it in him to _care._ “Press your thighs together.”

“What?”

Kylo nips at Ben’s shoulder just a little harder. “Do it.”

Ben stands a little straighter, pressing his legs together tight, and Kylo lets his hard cock slide between them. Ben groans when the head of Kylo’s cock drags along the underside of Ben’s balls, beginning to thrust between his legs at a quick pace.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Kylo grits out. “Just like that.”

“ _Kylo,”_ Ben whines.

“Are you close?”

Ben just nods, arching back into Kylo as the wet slap of skin sounds in the shower. Kylo grunts when Ben’s thighs clench, squeezing Kylo’s dick like a vice, and it’s enough to send him pummeling over the edge, his cum painting the shower wall.

Ben whimpers when he finds his own release, spilling into Kylo’s hand and beyond so that his spend mixes with Kylo’s on the wall. Kylo mouths at Ben’s shoulder, breathing heavily as he attempts to come down.

“We should stop doing this,” Ben mutters.

Kylo lets his teeth graze Ben’s skin with a little more force, causing Ben to whimper. “You say that every time. Do you really want to?”

Ben doesn’t answer, just shakes his head.

“Neither do I,” Kylo assures him.

“I just don’t know how this is supposed to work.”

“However we want it to.” Kylo’s hand curls around Ben’s hip, and he urges him to turn, facing Kylo. He brushes the wet strands of hair from Ben’s forehead, leaning in to press his lips to Ben’s. He has come to love the way Ben melts into him. The way he accepts everything he has to give. “I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks, but no one ever has to know. No one but us. There’s never been anyone else but us, anyway.” Ben looks nervous, and Kylo pulls him close. “I’ve got you, Ben. Have I ever let you down?”

Ben shakes his head. “No. Never.”

Kylo can’t help but kiss him again— he’s admittedly growing a little addicted to it. “This isn’t any different. I’ve _got_ you.”

* * *

Fuck, he can’t wait to graduate.

He hates coming here, day after day— mingling with these people he barely tolerates.

It is made more difficult _now—_ knowing what awaits him when they’re finally allowed home. Kylo has become, for lack of a better word, _obsessed_ with his brother. All the fierce protectiveness he’s felt all these years… it has now grown into some warped possessiveness he can barely keep a handle on.  

It just feels so _good—_ making Ben feel good. Making him _bloom._ He’s spent so long coaxing Ben from the dark that now that he’s pulled him into the light again— he’ll do anything to keep him there.

He’s closing his locker door now, telling himself there is only one more period to get through before he can leave. Before he can indulge in those few hours where Matt is engaging in after-school activities and Mom is still caught up at work.

Those few hours where it is just _them._

Kylo has been thinking about it every moment since it’s began. He’s realizing all at once he wants _more._

He knows what that entails, but isn’t sure Ben is ready. Isn’t even sure if it’s a place Ben wants to _go,_ but Kylo does. He wants to take everything. To mold Ben to his body. To claim every part of him.

He isn’t sure where these urges even come from— but it just feels so _good_ to finally be in control. Even if just for this. It makes him feel powerful— _useful,_ even. Because he knows Ben needs this control. Knows Ben needs someone to take all of his indecision and just _be._

Kylo will be that for him. He’ll be all that and more.

“Did you see the Solo kid today? Just staring out the fucking window again.”

Kylo bristles as a voice catches his attention, and he strains his ears to hear more.

“Yeah. What the fuck is that kid’s problem?”

“Beats the shit out of me. He’s such a fucking weirdo.”

“I’m not sure how he and Matt are even related. Matt’s so chill and Ben… Ben’s just weird.”

“What about Kylo? Total prick. Always mouthing off and trying to fight someone. I swear. Seems like Matt is the only normal one of the bunch.”

Kylo’s blood is boiling, that familiar rushing in his ears blocking out all other sounds and leaving him a ball of raging emotion. He recognizes it for what it is— knows it would be better to walk away, to just ignore these dickless nobodies and go home. Go home to _Ben._

He doesn’t do that.

He rounds the corner, chest too-tight and jaw clenched as he comes upon the same two guys from the week prior. The ones he warned off Ben.

Suddenly his anger is consuming.

Their eyes widen when they spot him, and they exchange a nervous glance.

“No,” Kylo spits. “Keep talking. I’d love to hear more about my family from you two sacks of shit.”

The bigger one narrows his eyes. “You better be fucking careful, Solo. You’re a little outnumbered.”

“I could rearrange both of your faces with one arm tied behind my back, you son of a bitch. Stand up and I’ll show you.”

One of them stands, the other following suit a little more slowly and casting a nervous look towards Kylo. The smaller one grabs the larger one’s arm, his brow furrowed. “Hey, we shouldn’t start anything. Let’s just go.”

“Fuck that,” the other one sneers. “He thinks he’s so tough. Come on then, you pussy. Show me how tough you are.”

After the first connection of Kylo’s fist to the larger boy’s face— Kylo doesn’t remember much else.

* * *

The principal sits behind his desk, giving Kylo a stern look. He sighs heavily. “Mr. Solo, we’ve been here too many times.”

Kylo doesn’t say anything, just glances away, his lip still stinging from where the smaller one got a cheap-shot in on him before Kylo promptly put him in the dirt.

“We can’t keep finding ourselves here,” the principal continues. “I know you boys have been through a lot… with your dad and all—”

Kylo’s gaze snaps back. “Don’t you talk about my dad.”

The principal frowns. “I know it’s hard, but you can’t keep lashing out like this. I can’t keep excusing it, either.”

“So don’t then,” Kylo huffs.

“Fine,” the principal scoffs, shuffling through some papers. “Maybe a week suspension will change your attitude.”

“Doubt it.”

“Well, I hope it does, Mr. Solo,” the principal warns. “Because if we find ourselves here again— it’ll be expulsion. Do you understand?”

Kylo thinks of how much that will hurt his mother, and a flash of guilt courses through him. His instincts beg him to snap back, to say something shitty— but he stamps them down. “Yes, sir.”

“It’ll get better, son.” The principal's voice softens, and all Kylo can think about is how he hates anyone calling him _son._ “I promise it will.”

* * *

He doesn’t know how he will survive a week of this, already bored beyond belief after just half a day. The only thing getting him through is knowing that Ben will be home soon. That he can lose himself in Ben and forget the swelling of his lip or the words in his head that make him want to punch someone all over again.

Kylo is just about ready to lose his mind, when Ben finally makes it home.

Ben bursts into his room— eyes full of anger in a way Kylo has never seen them. “You got _suspended?”_

Kylo shrugs. “So what?”

“That goes on your record, Kylo.”

“It’s not a big deal. Come here.”

“No.”

Kylo reels a little, not used to this more rigid Ben. “ _No?”_

 _“No.”_ Ben crosses his arms, lingering near the doorway and looking stern. “You can’t fight everyone who doesn’t like me.”

“That’s what you think,” Kylo scoffs.

“It seems worse now.” Ben’s voice softens a fraction. “Since we… since _this.”_ He gestures between them, and Kylo wrinkles his nose.

“That has nothing to do with it.”

“Doesn’t it?”

Kylo doesn’t answer, because deep down— he knows Ben is right. He has always been protective of Ben. But now that he knows _so much—_ the way Ben’s breath catches when he comes, or how his eyes flutter closed _every single time_ Kylo’s fingers push inside him. All of these little things that Kylo had never known even existed and now— _yes_. It is so much worse.

Kylo’s averts his gaze to the floor, and his tongue prods at the bruised patch at his lip as it’s done the entire afternoon. He hears Ben sigh, followed by the shuffling of feet and the dip of his bed as Ben settles beside him.

“You can’t protect me from everything.”

“I know.” Kylo looks up then, at the face so similar to his own and frowning. “I just… I _want_ to.”

He feels Ben’s fingers at his jaw, his thumb brushing there softly, and Kylo can’t help but lean into his touch. Ben nears closer, minding the tender flesh of Kylo’s lip and kissing him _so sweetly_ that it takes his breath away.

It is always Kylo who initiates things, but this— this is all Ben. It is soft, and brief— barely even a brush of lips, but it is enough to pull a quiet moan from Kylo.

“Don’t get into any more trouble,” Ben murmurs.

Kylo nods, just wanting to see Ben happy— no matter what that takes. Ben’s eyes widen when he pulls away, looking down to find Kylo already half-hard in his sweats, and Kylo offers him a sheepish look.

“I can’t help it.” He notices the way Ben’s throat bobs— the way his breath picks up just enough to alert Kylo that he is affected also. “You know… they won’t be home for an hour.”

“We shouldn’t.” Ben says the words, but his eyes say something different.

“But you want to.” Ben doesn’t answer, but the way he pulls at his lower lip with his teeth— it’s more than enough of an answer. Kylo tugs at Ben’s jeans. “Take these off.”

Ben shakes his head. “No.”

Kylo isn’t thrilled with this new rebellious streak. “ _No?”_

“I mean—” Ben’s eyes are between them now, studying the tented front of Kylo’s sweats with a look that can only be described as _hungry._ “I want to. This time.”

Kylo feels his cock twitch, this new forwardness unlike anything Ben has ever exhibited, and it is _thrilling._ Kylo leans back on his hands, grinning as he gestures to his lap with his chin. “Well.”

Ben’s hands are shaking just a little when he reaches for the band of Kylo’s sweats, his movements slightly unsure as he sinks to his knees between Kylo’s legs. It takes all Kylo has to curb his excitement— to let Ben do this at his own pace. Underneath the calmness he tries to maintain, however, Kylo is practically _vibrating_ with need.

He lifts his hips slightly as Ben works his sweats down his thighs, taking his underwear along with them and freeing Kylo’s cock that is swelling rapidly under Ben’s attention. Kylo’s skin hums eagerly as Ben studies him— a flash of pink at his lips as his tongue darts out to wet them.

His fingers are tentative at first, brushing along Kylo’s length like a question as they trace his shape. Kylo’s nostrils flare as he struggles to keep himself in check, his hands fisting his bedding as Ben nears close enough so that Kylo can feel the warmth of his breath against his cock.

He can’t look away, finding the shyness of Ben’s expression more appealing than anything he’s ever seen. His mouth parts in a quiet gasp when Ben’s tongue first slides against the underside of his cock, lingering at the lip just under the head to trace around it. It’s more discovery than teasing— Ben taking his time and seeming to take note of Kylo’s reactions.

“I want to make you feel like you make _me_ feel,” Ben says breathlessly, lips still so near Kylo’s cock that it is hard to concentrate. He looks up then, eyes wide and somehow _so innocent_ even as his hand lightly grips the base of Kylo’s length. “Tell me what to do.”

_Fuck._

It wasn’t so long ago Kylo couldn’t even get Ben to _speak—_ now the words that fall from his mouth threaten to _ruin_ any bit of sanity Kylo has left.

Kylo swallows, willing himself to keep still. “Squeeze a little tighter.” Ben obliges, his grip around Kylo’s dick tightening a fraction and Kylo hisses between his teeth before giving another instruction. “Use your tongue— just over the head.”

Ben leans in, flattening his tongue over the thick head and dragging it over the tip across the slit there. Kylo clenches his lips to stifle a moan, his thighs trembling a bit with his need to keep calm.

“Again,” Kylo grits out. “Slower.”

He only asks to give himself the chance to _burn_ this image into his memory— the pink of Ben’s tongue nearly matching the flushed color of Kylo’s cockhead and leaving it slick and wet in the wake of its path.

“ _Fuck,_ Ben.” Kylo’s fingers itch with a need to fist Ben’s hair— to force his mouth full of Kylo’s cock and _punish_ it. But he stays still, keeps his grip tight on the bedspread.

_Let him do this._

Ben’s lips hover over the head, looking up at Kylo expectantly as he places an open-mouthed kiss there that makes Kylo’s toes curl. “I want— can I—?”

Kylo nods fervently. “Suck. _Please.”_

He holds his breath as Ben’s lips enclose around his cock, sucking softly at the head before he pulls deeper, letting his tongue brush along the underside as he sinks down over his length. Kylo watches him struggle, Ben determined to take more into his mouth as he pushes as far down as he can.

He comes up sputtering a little, a soft gag escaping him as he wrenches away, looking embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” he chokes out. “I can do better. I can—”

Kylo reaches for his jaw, cradling Ben’s face in his hands. “Don’t apologize. You’re _incredible,_ Ben.”

Ben pulls at his lip softly with his teeth. “I just want to make you feel good.”

“ _Ben,”_ Kylo rasps. “Look at me.” Ben’s eyes flick up to meet Kylo’s, and Kylo reaches between them to fist his cock to draw Ben’s attention there. “ _You_ did this. Look how hard I am. _For you.”_

He notices Ben swallowing heavily, eyeing Kylo’s cock heatedly and nodding. He reaches to brace himself on Kylo’s thighs, his large hands pressing there as he moves to try again.

When he takes Kylo inside his mouth this time, it is lacking the air of hesitancy that had existed before. He closes his eyes as he pushes Kylo’s cock deep into his mouth, and it brushes over Ben’s tongue as Ben hollows his cheeks slightly.

“ _Fuck, Ben.”_ Kylo’s hand that still rests along Ben’s jaw skirts up into his hair, flexing with a need to grip there and struggling to refrain from doing so.

Ben seems to sense his hesitation, pulling off his cock with a slick _pop_ and breathing hard as he licks a wet line over his lips with his tongue. “You can touch me. I _want_ you to. I won’t break, Kylo.”

 _But you almost did,_ he doesn’t say, knowing this person in front of him is not the same one he’s known all these years. It makes him feel powerful, thinking _he_ brought about this change. He doesn’t care how he did it, or what the world would think of it— _Kylo_ made him into this beautiful creature that looks so unafraid now. Looks _hungry_ for him.

He lets his fingers thread into Ben’s hair, fisting the soft strands as Ben’s lips find Kylo’s cock once again to let him sink inside Ben’s mouth. Ben’s eyes flutter closed as he draws Kylo deeper into his mouth, some needy sound humming around Kylo’s cock as he sucks a slick path as far as he can take and back again.

Kylo feels Ben’s hand replace his own, gripping him at the base to squeeze as his cheeks hollow and his pace quickens. Kylo can’t last like this, Ben working him eagerly, his tongue lapping messily at the underside of Kylo’s cock with each withdrawal.

“ _Ben.”_ Kylo’s voice is tight— almost like a _growl—_ unable to tear his eyes away from pink lips and tongue at his cock and just the _sight of Ben—_ “ _Fuck, just like that.”_ Kylo has to close his eyes then, dangerously close to spilling into Ben’s mouth and he just wants to _stay_ like this just a _little longer._ He can’t help the way he pushes against the back of Ben’s head now, forcing him _deeper,_ fucking his mouth _faster,_ and Ben— Ben just moans in pleasure— taking everything Kylo gives him.

“ _Fuck, Ben—_ I feel— you _do_ make feel so good. So _fucking_ good _. Never_ felt like— I’m going to— _fuck.”_

He can’t even warn him— his climax hitting him all at once, and then he is _gushing_ into Ben’s mouth. Ben doesn’t pull away, fingers digging into Kylo’s thighs roughly as he swallows around him. It is only when Kylo is still, cock heavy and spent, that Ben lets it fall from his mouth.

Kylo breathes deep through his nostrils, chest tight and blood roaring in his ears— looking down at Ben who is still kneeling on the floor.

_It seems worse now. Since we… since this._

And it is. He can’t deny that now— not with Ben looking up at him with swollen lips and wet eyes and looking _so wrecked_ because yes— it’s definitely, _absolutely_ worse. Before this, whatever this is— Kylo knew he would die for his brother.

Now… he thinks he might kill for him too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Come say hi on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kylotrashforever)!  
> I made a [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/KTF_Reylo), come follow me!


End file.
